Saturday, January 14, 2006

ring out the new (before i wring her neck)

So, basically I hate the management of seating arrangements in my office. Cause this guy I kinda have the hots for was sitting so far away from me... but (at his request) he finally came to sit just a desk away from me, so now every time I turn around, I see his butt... bending to write something on the comp, or print something... and oh and what a butt it is... it deserves to be a national treasure... to be protected and honoured... JLo be hanged!

Anyway that is not the point. Everything was A-ok when it was just me turning to take a peek.
Now this damned HR person has put a hot little, bubbly little, oh-so-friendly little Bi... errm... management trainee right next to him. Resulting in me catching a glimpse of flirting everytime I look behind.
She is from UK. She is thin. She is friendly. She's got nice hair. She's got a big smile.
But more than anything, She is new.

What is with men and new women?

They see a prospect, and their eyes light up for the kill. Suddenly they have a reason to wake up and put on that extra dab of cologne and get to office, only to be greeted by the smile of the new girl. They suddenly get overly friendly themselves, asking her to have lunch with them, asking her what she does for fun and giving her "tips" on how to survive in the agency....

This is not only at work. This is at parties too. I remember this one party we had with my ex agency colleagues... A new addition, one guys prospective girlfriend crashed the party... She wore a short black top and low rise brown courdroys... she got herself an entire beer bottle, she danced alone because she did not know anyone... And by the end of the night she had most of the guys drooling over her... getting her dinner, concerning themselves about how she will get home... and talking about her after she left. She was new. She never came to another party. They finally stopped asking where she was.

Men want to get to the new woman. It's not that they want to marry them, or even have a realtionship with these girls. It's just the thrill of being seen by your buddies.

Chatting up the new girl maketh thee a ladies man.

And what man doesn't want to be a ladies man?

The ladies man then walks up to the group of his colleagues. They give the usual, you-sly-dog looks and back slaps, ladies man confidently says, comeon... she's just a friend... And if he is truly a ladies man, he'll follow that sentence with a comment like... but not for long eh... At which the pack breaks into howls of laughter.

Anyway, enough with the anthropology lecture. There he is, my ladies man. He is putting on cologne. He is bending again, but not in my direction, he is competing for attention with the other guys around. He is telling her where her boss sits.
He has asked her to eat lunch with us.

I'm in the background. I watch the peacock dance.
My heart breaks. My blood boils. My head spins.

I over hear her saying she can't cause she has plans to go out for lunch. She passes my desk and squeeks a bubbly "bye, see you later", I fake a big smile. I do it well.

I sit at my comp, and pretend not to notice him behind me. He puts his hands on my shoulders and gently squeezes, asks me what's wrong, and tells me to come and eat lunch. I say fine.

I let him lead the way... only so I can stare at the national treasure again.


byker7 said...

btw, if it's alright with you, i've posted a link to your blog over at mine.

* this is not a slimey method to get you to reciprocate - just courtesy to let you know.

Noojes said...

Ha ha

I can change that u know ;)


byker7 said...

help a fellow writer in distress... pop over to my blog for details.

:) said...


u're very funny.